Longing

Last night my oldest daughter and I experienced a night out together hosted by Pathway Community Church. We were encouraged to write down how we were feeling and how we’ve been aware of God lately. It was a unique, creative activity when we were then invited to use mixed media art to visually capture what we wrote.

We both began to write out our thoughts and were well on our way. As my daughter began to move on to the visual piece, I found myself stuck. I was having a hard time landing my thoughts and discerning my emotions and feelings.

The picture above captures what I was feeling at the time. I felt as if I was not only staring at a blank canvas, but an empty canvas with little hope to ever reflect the artist’s heart. And to be honest, I was a little frustrated. However, instead of giving up, I decided to settle in and invite God to help me understand what was going on. I’m so glad I did.

God began to help me understand that longings evolve, even if we’re not fully aware of them. This was not completely a surprise to me, however, it was helpful to me to begin understanding some of the things that I’ve begun to wrestle with.

I’m not sure how much this all makes sense to anyone else, but it’s been helpful for me to put it in writing. Bellow you’ll see Maiah’s wonderful artwork on the left. She was explaining to me that she chose those words because she feels that they are what God wants her to be focused on right now. Peace is the biggest because that’s been the most challenging for her.

To the right is what I created. It’s a little haphazard, but it communicates how I feel like I’ve been looking out the windows in my life trying to determine what’s next…what’s on the horizon. And although I’m able to see beautiful things, at times all I see is dark, empty spaces.

Am I okay with the dark, empty spaces if God promises to meet me there?

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